new year, new me

Happy new year to all!

This year is going to be a good year. I can feel it! It is my last year of college (finishing next fall), which means the end of my extended adolescence. The feeling of still being a kid has come at a price, however ($20,000+ a year, my sanity, and a little a lot happiness) .

I am in the home stretch now and I feel like I need to start becoming a more responsible person. I need to save more and spend less. Study more and finish my education on a strong note (which I have always been capable of but did not care enough to put in the effort). Make good life decisions. Quit smoking for good. Start exercising regularly again. Be a happier person.

The difference between trying to do these before and doing them now is that my life, my adult life, is beginning now. I want to make the right choices and I want to do right by me,  for me. I am letting go of my past mistakes and I'm starting fresh. Not because of the new year, but because of the new me.

The goals I have made for this year are not the simple goals, like "quit smoking" or "study more." I wanted them to encompass several things I would like to improve upon. Here they are:

1. Run the 10k Riverbank Run. I have run the 5k in the past and I know that I could do it again easily, even now. I want more of a challenge. For me to run this, I simply need to quit smoking and I have. I am done. (4.5 days now and going strong) I have this optimism that I never had before when trying to quit and I'm going to use that to my advantage. Also, I need to exercise regularly which I started to do again during this winter break. Both of these improvements make me a happier person. I feel stronger, happier, and healthier already.

2. Follow through on commitments. This refers to two things in particular: school and knitting. For school, I would like to improve my grades overall and to do that, I have to put in the daily effort. It is a simple thing that I have the power to change. I need to stop letting things pile up when I know that it will just eventually stress me out.  Knitting, silly though it might seem, also stresses me out. I have periods of casting-on left and right. Right now I have about 10 unfinished projects that are mostly done, but have been neglected. With my anxiety, these unfinished things all around me put me over the edge sometimes. (Knitting plans to be shared next post. I have a master plan.)

3. Live in the moment. Although I haven't had the best experience at school, I think it's a beautiful place that I will miss once I leave. I hope to capture the good moments while I still have the chance. I want to make the above changes so that I can enjoy my time there more. This goal applies to more than just school (although most of my time will be spent there the first half of the year).

I want to be a better person-- girlfriend, sister, daughter, aunt, friend-- and I want to leave the worrying behind. I want to take more pictures of the wondrous world we live in. I want to watch my nephew grow into a little person who will soon crawl, then walk, then talk. I want to use my abilities and my talents to do something that I love, and with luck, something in which I find success. I want to be the best version of myself that I can be for the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

The new me feels that there is a lot to be said about effort. The world around you still moves forth whether you put your plans into action or not. It is up to you to make the changes in your life. No one is going to make them for you.

I hope you all find inspiration this year!

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"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." -Ralph Waldo Emerson